Me too!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
