True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so let's talk penis.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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