her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
