I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
