i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
pray to the hookup gods
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize