are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
