If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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