do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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