my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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