true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
