Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
