dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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