He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
