What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
