He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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