...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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