Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
