Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
