im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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