Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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