ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I look better un-naked...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
