I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
