Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
