dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i came on her dog
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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