Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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