I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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