Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Randomize
