help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
