Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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