you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
