i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just puked most of my soul out..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize