it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
