Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
