whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize