Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He better not be in your backpack
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
