I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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