know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
