Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
