We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize