I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
