Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
