my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
