using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we're making bets on your personal life
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
