Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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