Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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