Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
