She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
