I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
