why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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