I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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