he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
