I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
