I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
