so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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