problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
