so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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