I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
