We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
