is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
