dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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