y did u give ur computer a hand job?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
