sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
