We're like a lot better than the average bears
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
True strength comes from lack of pants
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize