did you get engaged???
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize