Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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