four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
