She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize